Comedy list submitted with out comment.
Jon Stewart And Jim Cramer Face off!
If you are not happy with your brokerage account, whatever you do don’t contact FINRA or the SEC. This is the fastest way to get your account closed. But then again it might the fastest way to shut it down…
I forgot that I had this laying letter around in some files that I was sifting thru the other day. At the time of this letter, I filled a complaint with the SEC as I believe that Scottrade was not only recording my phone calls without permission. (This is a federal offense since I have a California phone number) Most importantly Scottrade was providing misleading information in regards to my account. With that I took the time and filed a compliant with FINRA and then SEC. We all know that FINRA, the self policing organization with the highest standards, did absolutely nothing. The Porn watching employees of the SEC, as you can image did absolutely nothing.
The moral of the story is that if you file a complaint with FINRA or SEC, then Scottrade will happily shut down your account.
RE: OptionsFirst Account XXXXX901
Dear Mr. Humphrey:
We are writing to inform you that the status of your OptionsFirst Account has changed. Due to our determination that you7 require a higher level of services, we no longer feel comfortable maintaining your account. It is the decision the Compliance Department to terminate our Business relationship with you.
Please be advised that as of the close of business on April 16, 2010, your account will be closed for new purchases and any orders to opne new positions. Furthermore, your internet access will be limited to view your account information only. You will no longer be able to place trades online.
Please be aware that your account will not be frozen, but will be restricted to liquidation transaction only. We will accept instructions to liquidation and closer out existing positions through the OptionstFirst Department. You can place your trades by calling them at 1-877-223-3344. Please be aware you will only be charged the Internet rate.
If you do not wish to liquidate your positions, we kindly ask that you make immediate arrangement to transfer our account to antother brokerage firm of your choice.
We regret that we are not longer able to serve your investment needs.
Senior Compliance Examiner
cc: Brian Falls, OptionsFirst Manager
Tech douchebag @hblodget gets roasted by Matt Lauer and The Soup and The Today Show pick it up. Great reporting!
Henry, sorry Melissa Mayer didn’t purchase Business Insider, instead they went with Tumblr, I guess they had more porn.
Well sorry it isn’t that easy… Trust me I know.
But there is good news! I’m looking for guest bloggers on my site.Well sorry it isn’t that easy… Trust me I know.
But there is good news! I’m looking for guest bloggers on my site.
Why would you want to post your blog posts on my another site? I have a lot of programatic ways of spreading the your words. Well because you are a blogger not a search engine maverick or a social media expert. Your focus is writing, research and making fun of the clowns on CNBC. It’s not figuring out how to connect your blog to Pinterest or Instagram.
Why I don’t I blog? I am a far better coder than a writer.
With your permission, as soon as you write a post on your site, I can replicate that post on my site. With your name and your website. (It’s a simple XML/RSS/PHP script.) This is rather similar to how Seeking Alpha works… But here your hard earned thoughts get more exposure than your blog and the comment section of Business Insider. Plus you get to take advantage other traffic that I am receiving from my other endeavors.
But then again you always be bitcoin speculator!
I am headed to North Carolina for the weekend with the Marines. (My other job) So as easy as it is to recycle last weeks headlines I won’t, but think about it for a second. Greece not solved, companies blow out earnings on lowered expectations, Republicans have little idea who will be the nominee, market continues to climb higher on lower volume, defying any traditional logic… Same as last week.
#Let’s play a game: Which portfolios of mine do you think are algorithmically controlled and which are discretionary? (Hint: I might rename the Hardline portfolio, to the Honey Badger portfolio)
#Busy Robots: I was doing some research for someone the other day in regards to High Frequency Trading and it appears that 70% is the number of trades handled by robots. For a video explanation see 60 minutes.
#If you get a chance be sure to thank Bernanke: Even CNBC is openingly admitting Benny and his Ink Jets have saved the economy. I wonder how many bankers will start crying when the “Bernake” takes away the free money or stalls on QE 3.
#Let’s make a movie: I don’t usually see movies as an investment vehicle, but since this isn’t from Hollywood and it involves Marines it’s definitely worth checking out.
“If you tell a lie that’s big enough, and you tell it often enough, people will believe you are telling the truth, even when what you are saying is total crap.” ~ concept accredited to Joseph Goebbels
3. The Gigantic Conspiracy To Inflate Jobs Numbers In America via Business Insider
Cramer is the CNBC cheerleader, Santelli is the antagonist, and Business Insider is usually lots of pictures & graphs and generally leans left. The Business Insider provides a good argument as well. However TrimTabs uses real time data based on tax income receipts. Simple numbers. The trimtabs piece is the one I believe is the most analytical. (aside from the brief mention of politics) You either have a job or you don’t. I can understand the concept of a birth death model in the jobs report, but as he says in the video no one understands the seasonally adjusted model. You have a job in one season and not in the next?
So if someone can explain the seasonally adjusted component of the BLS, please tell me or Trimtabs. Or you can keep it to yourself and make millions. The other key issue as stated in the video, most financial reporters don’t actually read the report, they just report the number. And for someone who has written millions of lines of code, I can tell you it’s not hard anymore to write a program that evaluates the number and starts buying or selling based on the number long before you have a chance to refresh your web browser. Code doesn’t need details it just looks for the number and then the market are off to the races…
So how do I know the number is manipulated? Well the Federal Reserve has dual mandate. The first is max employment and the second is price stability. (The unspoken third mandate, is to maintain confidence in the stock market.) So if the employment number continus to decrease and yet the Federal Reserves interest rate policy remains at zero, then the Fed is clearly indicating it doesn’t believe the jobs number and continues to hold interest rates low to stimulate the economy. Only when we start to see an increase in the interest rate will we know that the Federal Reserve actually believes the economy is getting better and there is actual sustainable job growth. But seeing as how the Federal Reserve has projected a zero interest rate policy until 2014, I think we know the answer. If the jobs number continues to decrease, look for interest rates to increase soon rather than later and say goodbye to Quantitative easing part 3 or 4 or 5. If the jobs number continues to decrease and the interest rate stays at zero, then start buying guns and gold because inflation or a revolution is pending.
#(facebook + twitter + myspace) = my-twit-face: The movie was great. (David Fincher is a great director: Seven, Fight Club) Unfortunately I don’t see this a great investment, Jim Rogers doesn’t either. On the contrary, Jim Cramer doesn’t want to “BUY, BUY, BUY” so that might be a contrary indicator. All I can say is that unless you have a co-located connection to the exchange and a super fast computer, I wouldn’t bother. Yes, I know everybody uses facebook and you saw the movie. But consider 2 key issues to take into account. 1. Don’t forget private shareholders and secondary share holders will be dumping this stock to take profits. (off the top of my head they have been holding shares for two years now…) 2. The twitter search frequency sentiment engines are already salivating at this IPO. I know my twitter search algorithm has already been tracking the symbol $FB. So if you want to short or go long, don’t worry the high frequency algorithms will be happy to front-run your trades.
#financial advisor: Email me if you are interested in recreating the Hardline & Quatro Kinectic porfolios for your clients.
#What the Republicans can’t seem to understand: The GOP Deserves to Lose: That’s what happens when you run with losers. Think of it more as a different perspective.
#House in Davos: Henry Blodget of business insider fame, was lucky enough to get an interview with Robert Schiller in Davos, the creator of the Case-Shiller 20-city Index of home prices. (Released tomorrow at 9:00 am)
#Greece: We are currently between stages 3 and 4 in the five part Greece flowchart.
#Developing: Will be submitting an application to the marketplace on stocktwits.
#back by popular demand & laughs: Okay, I guess you could call this the honey badger market. (This might be the most profound statement on the blog today.)
#641: I track over 641 stocks, you can see where I stand on any position here.
There is nothing like waking up in the morning and pulling out the good old blackberry, (sorry, I’m old school) and reading via my twitter feed that Jamie Dimon sees little impact from Greece default. After that I turned off the alarm, because there is no longer need to worry and slept for another hour or so! Thank goodness we have bankers to tell us how to think!
Well I won’t go into a tirade, there are plenty of other people I can link to that deserve the credit. Of course, Zero Hedge, had an immediate response. (Weather you like the site or not, thank goodness we have a free press.) Even the “highly analytical” Business Insider produced a simple slide show, two months ago. If Jamie is so unconcerned, maybe we should stop with the whole Bernanke ZIRP (Zero Interest Rate Policy) and he can start marking to market JP Morgan’s balance sheet.
#If your bullish don’t watch this: Charles Biderman Explains The Bullish Market Ponzi, video via Zerohedge.
#Congressional portfolios: Politicians are the best traders. video via 60 minutes.
#CNBC investigates: Most Share Buybacks Don’t Pay Off for Investors. The following is probably true in the long run, just ask Eddie Lambert of Sears. On the contrary, let’s not forget the robots see buybacks in the news feed it can send the stock up 11% in one day, just look at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
Below are the best and worst performing stocks of 2012. Do you see a trend?