My New Resume: Genius or Burnout?

TLDR: I revised my resume like never before, either I’m a trailblazer or going through a “Mid-Career-Crisis”.

Genius or Burnout: Afraid to ask the question, cause I think I know the answer…

Working with Drupal 8 has been the catalyst to finally push me over the edge and start working on rebuilding my resume. Although I’m well compensated at my current job, Drupal 8 just basically sucks, and it is doing absolutely nothing for my career. I can write complicated trading algorithms in python, but a try to figure out a hook in Drupal 8 and the wheels on the bus come off.

Doing a quick review of some of my posts, I seem to have inadvertently written quite a bit about finding work in the tech field:

How to decline a tech interview.

Best Cover Letter Ever or Worst Cover Letter Ever? <— Got me a job offer.

Here is me calling out Recruiter and wound up on the front page of Hacker News.

How do you get a job in algorithmic trading?

With that said, I’m so tired of people not even looking at my resume, not even a little research. My resume doesn’t even match my linkedin page, yet only 1 in 30 seem to figure that out. I totally understand recruiters are just dialing for dollars… (I don’t know how times I have politely explained to recruiter there is a difference between Java and Javasciript) But even for second round interviews, potential employers don’t even bother to make it to the second page. I swear. I was in a two hour interview and I was leaving, the lead programmer tried to give me back my resume for some reason, even though he printed it. Then he fumble the papers as he was trying to give it back to me and then he says with no shame “Oh there is a second page.?” Geez, I don’t expect people to memorize my resume, but I do expect some one to at least know there is a second page. So now that’s now where I put the my resume Easter egg.

In addition, we just hired some poor fool to come work with us on a Drupal 8 project. It was an interview of 5 people.  The resume was biazzare, it had long paragraphs for job descriptions. Generally, it was rather annoying to read, and didn’t say a lot about the person. There was one developer on the interview team that wanted to do nothing more that ask the standard “Douche Bag” Coder questions. What is OOP, do you know what dependency injection is? Name a HTTP verb. Just for the record we use Druapl 8, so we don’t need to get all high and mighty about coding definitions. Then when the person didn’t know some of the answers, this coder proceed to provide an explanation, so he could feel superior with his knowledge.

All said and done, the candidate got the job, in fact we all agreed with in about 5 minutes after the call, except for the technical coder. The candidates personality,  positive attitude and desire to maintain a job will over came any lack of supposed academic knowledge, I’ll be honest we are definitely not doing rocket surgery at current job. Time will tell if it works out, but I’m opportunistic about the candidate.  We aren’t hiring the brightest and the most brilliant, nor do we need to. It’s a job. You do the fun stuff after hours. So the whole interview process and getting the job had a whole lot to do with luck, timing and personality.

So with that in mind I put together a resume that I hope will keep people entertained. It will also give me the opportunity to see if anybody has actually read the resume and maybe provide some talking points or not. Here is a link to editable open source resume. So post your comments and grammar corrections, cause I’m sure there are some… Let me know how obnoxious or brilliant it is.

 

Chad Humphrey Denver, Co

[email protected]

EXPERIENCE

NuAxis / Gold Belt Hawk (Contractor to DOI)

October 2015 – PRESENT

PHP 7, Cold Fusion, Oracle Enterprise SQL, Drupal 8, Node.js, Git, Docker, Laravel, Mongo DB

Strategic Options ConsultingCode mercenary

August 2010 – PRESENT

I write Stock & Option algorithms for fun and profit. (I would do CrytpoCurrencies, but I’m not a “Crytpo Bro”.) Volatility Algorithm, Options IVOL Arbitrage, Stock & Equity Algorithms/Strategy

Python 3, CodeIgnigtor, PHP 7, Financial Algorithms, Algorithms, Html, CSS, Node.Js, MongoDB, Mysql, Laravel, amCharts.

Currently have numerous trade strategies implemented on Interactive Brokers and  TD Ameritrade.

Greenito.com, Sr. Developer on the Titanic

April 2015 – June 2015

90 days was just long enough to jump ship from this failed Cannabis startup. Used CakePHP and worked with an off-shore development team.

Digital Media Communications — CTO

May 2012 – March 2015

They called me the CTO, so they thought I could fix windows computers. But I was the only developer, so I guess that made me the CTO.

Codeigniter, linux servers, HTML, CSS, Video.js, CMS, PHP, S3.

EDUCATION

Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA — BA

I studied Art History, so how did I get into Code?

Pepperdine University, Malibu, CA — MBA

The worst time to get an MBA is right before a financial crisis.

SKILLS

  • 20 years in the Marines Corps will give you leadership and communication skills.
  • Creative and forward thinking: Some might consider this resume just that.
  • Worked remote for 3 years.

AWARDS

My awards are pinned on my chest, something about a tour in Iraq.

Crowd surfed at the Whiskey A Go Go.

A blog post I wrote, was on the front page of Hacker News.

Are there awards for writing code?

Etc.

Feel free to ask me about the 10 million M&Ms I delivered to Iraqi children while in Camp Fallujah.

 

 

 

Best Cover Letter Ever or Worst Cover Letter Ever?

Greetings,

Happy Monday!

For the sake of entertainment, or maybe standing out from the crowd or possibly going out on a creative bender. As far as I’m concerned the concept of “Rock Star” probably died in the early nineties, with Guns & Roses, Poison, Metallic. The grunge movement (Pearl Jam & Nirvana) was anti-Rock Star, then the second wave of Punk (Green Day) came along which was also anti-Rock star. After the invention of the Ipod (not the iPhone 6) in ~2001 and Napster, music became very segrated as the consumer had termendous access to a wide variety of music and no longer had to rely on major labels. No artist could maintain a majority of the population attention span, as once Micheal Jackson and or The Beatles did. Death Cab for Cutie was discovered via Myspace.com (remember that?) So as far as I know… I don’t know any “Rock Stars”.

However it’s rather easy in PhP to use the function str_replace(), and we can change “Rock Star” to “Punk Rock Star” (which in it’s self would be an oxymoron) and I might be interested. We can also change Codeigniter PhP on my resume to Cake PHP. (Codeigniter MVC PHP I suspect is very similar to CAKE MVC PHP) so please keep that in mind as well.

In the meantime, I have developed an interactive resume that illustrates my skill set in a more palatable form. (I was force to make interactive resume because it was becoming clear that IT recruiters don’t read.) A formal resume can be found on the website as well.

https://www.strategic-options.com/resume/?p=choozle

Thanks,

Chad Humphrey
C_Humphrey.pdf

Why are Tech recruiters so #$%& ?

Your mind is filling in the blanks, but in fact I didn’t say anything negative. What I meant to say is: Why are Tech recruiters so smart?

Regardless, I do have your attention and chances are really good you are a tech recruiter.  With that said I’m looking for work, I’m not your average programmer… I have the ability to think, program, code, algorithms, communicate, lead and provide strategic direction. brogrammers

So there are plenty of Brogrammers, man-children and star trek programmers out there for you to hire, I’m sorry I’m not one of those.

Click here for a resume that does more than list off all the programming languages I have ever worked with, because let’s face it we nobody reads those resumes.