My New Resume: Genius or Burnout?

TLDR: I revised my resume like never before, either I’m a trailblazer or going through a “Mid-Career-Crisis”.

Genius or Burnout: Afraid to ask the question, cause I think I know the answer…

Working with Drupal 8 has been the catalyst to finally push me over the edge and start working on rebuilding my resume. Although I’m well compensated at my current job, Drupal 8 just basically sucks, and it is doing absolutely nothing for my career. I can write complicated trading algorithms in python, but a try to figure out a hook in Drupal 8 and the wheels on the bus come off.

Doing a quick review of some of my posts, I seem to have inadvertently written quite a bit about finding work in the tech field:

How to decline a tech interview.

Best Cover Letter Ever or Worst Cover Letter Ever? <— Got me a job offer.

Here is me calling out Recruiter and wound up on the front page of Hacker News.

How do you get a job in algorithmic trading?

With that said, I’m so tired of people not even looking at my resume, not even a little research. My resume doesn’t even match my linkedin page, yet only 1 in 30 seem to figure that out. I totally understand recruiters are just dialing for dollars… (I don’t know how times I have politely explained to recruiter there is a difference between Java and Javasciript) But even for second round interviews, potential employers don’t even bother to make it to the second page. I swear. I was in a two hour interview and I was leaving, the lead programmer tried to give me back my resume for some reason, even though he printed it. Then he fumble the papers as he was trying to give it back to me and then he says with no shame “Oh there is a second page.?” Geez, I don’t expect people to memorize my resume, but I do expect some one to at least know there is a second page. So now that’s now where I put the my resume Easter egg.

In addition, we just hired some poor fool to come work with us on a Drupal 8 project. It was an interview of 5 people.  The resume was biazzare, it had long paragraphs for job descriptions. Generally, it was rather annoying to read, and didn’t say a lot about the person. There was one developer on the interview team that wanted to do nothing more that ask the standard “Douche Bag” Coder questions. What is OOP, do you know what dependency injection is? Name a HTTP verb. Just for the record we use Druapl 8, so we don’t need to get all high and mighty about coding definitions. Then when the person didn’t know some of the answers, this coder proceed to provide an explanation, so he could feel superior with his knowledge.

All said and done, the candidate got the job, in fact we all agreed with in about 5 minutes after the call, except for the technical coder. The candidates personality,  positive attitude and desire to maintain a job will over came any lack of supposed academic knowledge, I’ll be honest we are definitely not doing rocket surgery at current job. Time will tell if it works out, but I’m opportunistic about the candidate.  We aren’t hiring the brightest and the most brilliant, nor do we need to. It’s a job. You do the fun stuff after hours. So the whole interview process and getting the job had a whole lot to do with luck, timing and personality.

So with that in mind I put together a resume that I hope will keep people entertained. It will also give me the opportunity to see if anybody has actually read the resume and maybe provide some talking points or not. Here is a link to editable open source resume. So post your comments and grammar corrections, cause I’m sure there are some… Let me know how obnoxious or brilliant it is.

 

Chad Humphrey Denver, Co

[email protected]

EXPERIENCE

NuAxis / Gold Belt Hawk (Contractor to DOI)

October 2015 – PRESENT

PHP 7, Cold Fusion, Oracle Enterprise SQL, Drupal 8, Node.js, Git, Docker, Laravel, Mongo DB

Strategic Options ConsultingCode mercenary

August 2010 – PRESENT

I write Stock & Option algorithms for fun and profit. (I would do CrytpoCurrencies, but I’m not a “Crytpo Bro”.) Volatility Algorithm, Options IVOL Arbitrage, Stock & Equity Algorithms/Strategy

Python 3, CodeIgnigtor, PHP 7, Financial Algorithms, Algorithms, Html, CSS, Node.Js, MongoDB, Mysql, Laravel, amCharts.

Currently have numerous trade strategies implemented on Interactive Brokers and  TD Ameritrade.

Greenito.com, Sr. Developer on the Titanic

April 2015 – June 2015

90 days was just long enough to jump ship from this failed Cannabis startup. Used CakePHP and worked with an off-shore development team.

Digital Media Communications — CTO

May 2012 – March 2015

They called me the CTO, so they thought I could fix windows computers. But I was the only developer, so I guess that made me the CTO.

Codeigniter, linux servers, HTML, CSS, Video.js, CMS, PHP, S3.

EDUCATION

Occidental College, Los Angeles, CA — BA

I studied Art History, so how did I get into Code?

Pepperdine University, Malibu, CA — MBA

The worst time to get an MBA is right before a financial crisis.

SKILLS

  • 20 years in the Marines Corps will give you leadership and communication skills.
  • Creative and forward thinking: Some might consider this resume just that.
  • Worked remote for 3 years.

AWARDS

My awards are pinned on my chest, something about a tour in Iraq.

Crowd surfed at the Whiskey A Go Go.

A blog post I wrote, was on the front page of Hacker News.

Are there awards for writing code?

Etc.

Feel free to ask me about the 10 million M&Ms I delivered to Iraqi children while in Camp Fallujah.

 

 

 

The Best or Worst way to decline a technical interview.

Hiring practices in the tech field seem to be topic of discussion on HN. I’m truly, amazed at some of the hiring practices  in the tech field.  Passion and desire are overlooked for technical knowledge. It truly is like no other field… With demand for developers, it kind of shocks me there are not better methods. CTO / Sr. developers should not be the sole gate keeper of hiring developers. (I’m sure that will get me in trouble…  notice that I used the word “sole”, yes they should have some input in the hiring decision.)

Recently (last week, to be exact), I applied for a position Senior Software Development position. I was intrigued by the salary, working remote and some of the leadership opportunities. However, I knew at some point it was going to lead a stereotypical technical interview. (This might come as a shock, but the first question on the tech interview was “Describe Object Oriented Programming?”) Being a self taught programmer, I unfortunately take great pride in knowing that I will fail miserably. I also seem to have lot of desire not to speak the lingo of the tech interview either, as I would rather spend more time learning new code. With that I really never should have taken the interview, as I honestly believe I’m qualified, but don’t really care to have a pop quiz over the phone about what I consider academic programming questions. My work, my side projects, code examples, desire to learn should illustrate that on a resume (7 years of paid programming experience), that was never discussed in the technical interview.

So I went thru the culture fit with a non technical / culture interview with no problems. Then came the technical interview…. as you can see from below it was an epic fail. As laid out below it’s clearly my fault. In fact it might have been comical to some degree. But regardless weather I wanted the job or not, rejection is frustration and annoying.  So I shouldn’t have agreed to the interview in the first place as I knew the outcome. While at the same time I feel extremely comfortable there wasn’t anything in their code that I couldn’t have done. At the end of the day it was my fault for being frustrated and I don’t want to be angry at myself. I would rather save my anger for injustice in the world.

After the interview, I sent the following email to hopefully relieve myself of some my anger. After clicking send, I do feel better… So there is in a opening in Denver, maybe I will get a referral fee…

 

Greetings,

I’m going to respectfully withdraw my application for employment for HxxxxXxxxx. I don’t feel that meet the technical requirements as laid out in the technical interview.

This might not come as a surprise as the technical interview was a interesting adventure in clearly explaining I don’t know the answers to academic programming questions. Since I’m not a typical programmer and self taught programmer, I believe that might have surprised the interviewer with my willingness to clearly state that I had no experience with a particular type of procedure and politely explain that I didn’t have answer. (I could almost feel the pause on the phone as I answered honestly, that I didn’t know the answer. I also mentioned that I wasn’t going to try to google question while on the phone either, which seems to be a new trend.) Honesty, can be a terrible curse. It’s 4 years since I retired from the Marine Corps it’s concept of honestly and responsibility are still haunting me.

Regardless, please be assured that I have absolute no animosity towards the HxxxxXxxxx or the people that interviewed me. I’m not lashing out or frustrated. The animosity lies completely with myself. Yes, that’s right. The responsibility lies completely with myself that has placed me in a frustrated mood. Unlike our current political / societal environment, it’s all me. I should have never taken this interview as I generally winds up with a stereo-typical technical interview and I know that I’m not going to pass. Which ultimately meaning that, I shouldn’t have applied for the position. Yeap, I should have never taken the interview. I’m writing this email for three reasons 1. Unburden some of my personal frustration. 2. This will also serve as a “Memento” to myself, not to fall into this self inflicted trap I successfully get myself into every few months as I seem to have mild form of amenisa regarding this issue. 3. Sometimes I like to step away from the code and practice some of communication skills and self awareness. For this self inflicted wound, I apologize for expending your time and mine.

Sincerely,

Chad Humphrey

Part of the reason I like to post things like this, is I get the see other people reactions on HN. Which can be good and bad, but I’m willing to see things from another perspective.

Why are Tech recruiters so #$%& ?

Your mind is filling in the blanks, but in fact I didn’t say anything negative. What I meant to say is: Why are Tech recruiters so smart?

Regardless, I do have your attention and chances are really good you are a tech recruiter.  With that said I’m looking for work, I’m not your average programmer… I have the ability to think, program, code, algorithms, communicate, lead and provide strategic direction. brogrammers

So there are plenty of Brogrammers, man-children and star trek programmers out there for you to hire, I’m sorry I’m not one of those.

Click here for a resume that does more than list off all the programming languages I have ever worked with, because let’s face it we nobody reads those resumes.